Old Folks home?
by Black Rose10
Summary: The dragoon gang are stuck in a nursing home thanks to their wonderful (grunt) grandchildren. Yay! My first fic!
1. Routine

Well, here it is my first damn fic. Ya I know it sucks but you can deal with it, so read it at your own risk and leave me alone damn it.  
  
  
Dart…And that is why kids today should be locked in cages.  
Rose: What do you have against youth you old hag. I'm hundreds of years older than you are and I don't care about age.  
Dart: That's because you don't age and you can't die you damn black monster.  
Rose: You can't still be mad about the Shana thing?  
Dart: Of course I am, scientists say that a woman can hold a grudge for over seventy years and that men don't stand a chance, well they never met Dart… Uh what's my last name again?  
Albert: Who knows these days?   
Meru: What's a scientist?  
Albert: Who knows theses days?  
Lavitz: Its over your head Meru  
Meru: What do you mean over my head?  
Albert: Who knows these days?  
Dart: Shut up Meru its Lavitz, (pulls finger out of his nose) What are you doing here old friend?  
Albert: Who knows these days?  
Lavitz: Don't you "Old Friend" me you damn Bastered I have come back to (wave hands around in the air stupidly) HAUNT YOU.  
Meru: OUCH you hit me in the face! Hascal take him down!  
Dart: MERU how many times do I have to tell you, Hascal died when you where 46. Your 83! It's been 37 years.  
Meru: He's dead (sniffle sniffle)  
Rose: Great! Thanks a lot Dart! Now she's gonna cry again. Every time we tell her she starts bawling, then she rums to me and I have to comfort her and then you all get mad at me because I try to blow her up.  
Dart: Maybe you shouldn't tell her he's dead.  
Rose: I didn't, you did  
Dart: No, you did  
Rose: you  
Dart: you  
Rose: you  
Dart: you  
Lavitz: Excuse me!!!!!! Dead Guy waiting!  
Dart: Sorry. Wait a second, how come you haven't aged either? Are you a demon too?  
Albert: Who knows these days?  
Lavitz: Demon? Too? What the hell are you talking about? I'm dead you Neanderthal, haven't you noticed?  
Dart: Oh yeah. (Scratches his head)  
Lavitz: Shut the hell up I'm trying to explain something.  
Dart: What? Is it good news?  
Albert: Who knows these days?  
Lavitz: Shut Up!  
Dart and Albert: Okay  
Lavitz: When I died  
Meru: Died! (Cry's loudly)  
Lavitz: Get the hell over it. Anyway, what I was trying to say was that when I died, you left me Dart. I was just f***ing left to rot on the ground, which I did. So now I have come back to (waves hands around stupidly) haunt you for the rest of your life.  
Meru: ouch, you hit me. Hascal, take him down!  
Dart: HASCAL IS DEAD!  
Meru: What? When did it happen? How come you never told me before? (Sniffle sniffle)  
Dart: Well, it's six o'clock, time for bed  
Lavitz: See ya tomorrow same as always?  
Rose: Why do you guys do this every damn day?  
Albert: Who knows these days?  
Dart: What do you mean?  
Rose: You and Lavitz have been doing this for the last 7 damn years  
Dart: Its just part of our routine  
Rose: Routine?  
Dart: yeah, every old guy has to have a routine. Good night all.   
  
THE END?!  
  
  
Well, there you go my first fic. Piro Flare liked it, but what the hell does that matter. Oh well, deal with it. 


	2. THE dream

Old folks home part 2 the dream  
  
  
  
Priest: Hascal will be in our hearts for all time  
Meru: What's going on? Why is there a priest her? And what is with all of these flowers  
Dart: Meru,  
Meru: Yes?  
Dart: We have been here for over two hours and this is about the millionth time you have asked that question, if you don't remember anything then just don't ask, it is becoming extremely annoying  
Meru: Why is there a coffin over there? Is that Hascal? Guys what is going on around here? Tell me please, I don't like the looks of this place.  
Dart: *grunt*   
Rose: *slapping forehead* He is dead and if I have to tell you that again I am going to have to kill you out of shear hate and annoyance.  
Meru: why would you want to do a thing like that  
Rose: Please Dart, can I please kill her?  
Lloyd: Please do  
Shana: *batting her eyes sweetly* Oh Dart, pleas don't let her do it  
Dart: Don't worry I wont let her do anything to Meru  
Shana: WHAT DID YOU SAY? I CANT HERE YOU, MY HEARING AID ISN'T WORKING RIGHT. NEED A NEW BATTERY FOR IT. KIND OF SHORTS OUT EASY   
Dart: DON'T WORRY SHANA I WONT LET HER DO ANYTHING FOR MERU   
Shana: LET WHO WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? SPEAK UP  
Dart: Never mind  
Shana: WHAT  
Dart: NEVER MIND  
Shana: OH, THANK YOU  
Dart: what?  
Shana: WHAT?  
Hascal: *sits up in coffin* Hey could you please keep it down over there, you are kind of disturbing my rest. How am I expected to rest in peace when you are all yelling so loudly at each other  
Rose: I thought you were dead  
Meru: Hascal's Dead? *Starts crying loudly* Why didn't a-a-anyone t-t-tell me? I deserved to know  
Hascal: Meru, do stop crying, I think Rose will have the full right to chop off your little head if you don't shut up, though I am sure even with your head gone you will keep talking somehow   
Meru: OH Hascal. You are alive, It's a miracle, how did this happen?  
Hascal: No Meru I am not alive, I am quite dead and I just need you to stop making a whole lot of noise so I can get back to my resting  
Meru: Your dead? Why didn't you tell me that before?  
Rose: *pulls out sword* You said I could  
Hascal: Oh put it away  
Dart: Rose we don't need another funeral, you know how much this one cost us, so unless you want to pay for another with your own money I would suggest putting it away  
Rose: I can dig a hole in the backyard, who needs this beg fancy crap  
Hascal: I thought I gave you guys enough to pay for this funeral?  
Dart: You did, Kongol got a hold on it and took it to Vegas for a weekend, and you know he has no game face, it is a little obvious when he has a bad hand, he flips the table over, and her never stops grinning when he thinks he has a good hand  
Hascal: Oh I am so sorry  
Dart: Its Okay, we took care of it  
Rose: *puts away sword* Fine I wont kill her yet, but only because I am broke, cant afford a new shovel   
Hascal: Thank you   
Rose: *Grabs lid of coffin*   
Hascal: *eyes wider than slits* Rose what are you doing  
Rose: *smirking* Your eyes are pretty, it is to bad that they were never seen before, and that they will never be seen again, goodnight *closes lid*  
Hascal: *Pounding on lid* Hey I wasn't finished yet  
Rose: *Nobody paying attention to a Hascal* Where did Albert go  
Albert: *coming out of crowd* Who knows these days  
Dart: where did you go?  
Albert: Who knows these days  
Shana: WHAT?   
Albert: WHO KNOWS THESE DAYS  
Shana: Oh thank you, but I already had some earlier  
Dart: Huh?  
Albert: Who knows these days  
Shana: DART WHAT DO YOU MEAN DUH? ARE YOU TRYING TO ACT SMART?  
Dart: *grunt*   
Meru: Where is Hascal:  
Rose: I swear I am going to kill you as soon as I can afford it  
Dart: Where is Kongol?  
Albert: Who knows these days  
Hascal: please shut up out there  
Shana: WHAT  
Meru: where is Hascal  
Rose: Dead  
Meru: Your joking right  
Lloyd: Where do you think Kongol is Dart?  
Dart: of course, the snack bar, he really needs to lay off eating absolutely everything in sight  
Meru: Where is Hascal?  
Dart: He is in the coffin  
Meru: what did you guys lock him in there for?  
Rose: Is it okay if I hate you?  
Meru: I don't care, just don't talk to me I hate you no wait I didn't mean that, I think your great, group hug *everyone backs up quickly*   
Rose: *pops knuckles and makes fist*  
Dart: *grunt*  
Shana: What did you say?  
Albert: who knows these days?  
Hascal: Please SHUT UP  
Meru: Where is Hascal  
Lloyd: He is over with Kongol at the snack bar  
Meru: *runs into crowd*   
Rose: Thank you for getting rid of her, I could barely hold myself back  
Lloyd: Any time *scratches back of head* do you want to dance?  
Rose: Yes, but there is no music  
Lloyd: You are music to me  
Rose: Are you sure it is all right?  
Lloyd: positively   
Rose: What about Zieg?  
Lloyd: He died in the Divine Tree when it blew up, you need to move on  
Rose: Okay, *waltzes into crowd with Lloyd*  
  
Dart: *sitting up in bed quickly* Why do I have that dream every night, I already had to live through it  
Shana: WHAT? GO BACK TO SLEEP  
Dart: WHET TIME IS IT?  
Shana: 6:30pm  
Dart: wow it is getting late, I wish the sun would go down  
Meru: *in her sleep* I want Hascal, Hascal come back  
Dart: I wish my dream hadn't really happened, but it did, oh well *falls asleep and starts snoring   
  
  
A/N: What more can I say, I was bored and I had a pen and notebook. I remembered I had a review that asked if I would make a chapter 2 because they liked chapter 1 so I wrote it. Sorry about my stupidity couldn't help myself. 


End file.
